The world’s great bus journeys – No 30, Cardiff to Newport.

The Newport Bus green double-decker No 30 stopped near
the Royal Oak.  Top deck, downstairs is for squares and it’s
good balance exercise especially if the driver’s brake-
happy. Head for the back only to see six or seven
baseball-capped youths sprawled over the last few seats,
like they own the world. Charmers all. Saw ’em just in time
to make sure I could halt halfway along the row.

Double-decker disco time. Playing Slim Shady and joining in. Or
maybe not joining in, I don’t know. Chorusing: “Treat her like
a princess, **** her like a whore.” Is that one of his? Wash your
mouth out with soap, dear boy, if it is.

On to football and then extolling player virtues and not
listening to each other, in the way football fans do. All
expletives deleted – “Bale’s boss”, “Hernandez is lethal”,
“Balotelli’s so-o-o-o-o sick, man”.

Is this the sort of stuff Alan Bennett hears on Yorkshire
buses?

Doesn’t top the woman two years ago on the same route:
“We’re getting a new rabbit. I loves rabbits. Rabbits are lush.
They’re amphibians aren’t they?”

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